How I became a junkie

I bought a ticket for the Nova Express,
a ticket that later exploded,
leaving me with neither ticket nor ride.

A little later I had a naked lunch
and was arrested for it.

Much more junk happened to me,
more than I care to reveal right now,
all thanks to Bill Burroughs.

– James Steerforth (© 2014)

This innocent little joyride was inspired by a photo of William S. Burroughs’ most famous four novels side-by-side: Naked Lunch, Nova Express, The Ticket that Exploded and Junkie.

Posted in Creative writing, Fun, Life, Literature, Nonsense, Novel, Poetry, Sweet dreams and nightmares, Writing | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Were you in …?

Aileen: Were you here in Hiroshima?
Louyguy: Of course I was.
Aileen: Were you also in Nanking?
Louyguy: Yes, I was there too. Many other places as well, all with photogenic names.
Aileen: That’s right. How silly of me.
Louyguy: I was also in Paris, fighting off the war.
Aileen: With Hemingway, right? Lucky for Paris, eh?
Louyguy: Yes.
Aileen: So lucky to know you.

– James Steerforth (© 2014)

This is a mild persiflage of a shred of dialogue from the film Hiroshima mon amour (1959) by Alain Resnais, script by Marguerite Duras. I have not seen the film but admit to an intense dislike of Duras’ novel of the same title, which I put aside after a few pages, filing it away in memory as a pretentious, blown-up piece of nothing.

Posted in Creative writing, Enigma, Film, Flash fiction, Fun, Literature, Nonsense, Novel, Satire, Writing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Why the geek slashed the carcass

Not being any kind of geek with a slasher past, this question is not easily answered. The police statement said there was no history of carcass possession, misappropriation or attempted purchase.

Any connection with Jenny Cadaver, a distant cousin, could most certainly also be ruled out.

Who’s going to blow the whistle on James Entwistle, the geek who became known for this ghastly deed?

Now, if the carcass had slashed the geek, that would have caused much more of an uproar in the town of Slanderbach, Ohio.

– James Steerforth (© 2014)

Written around the words geek, slash and carcass from 3WW.

Posted in Bland observations, Creative writing, Enigma, Flash fiction, Literature, Nonsense, Sweet dreams and nightmares, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

That trendy thing

(Why subliminal advertising works)

Potential customer enters store.
“I’d like ten Fruit candies, please.”
Store owner rummages.
“Here you go!”
“These are not Fruit candies.”
“Oh yes, they are: red cherry, dark cherry, frutti di bosco, lemon, lime, pineapple, etc. All fruits.”
“But they are not from the Fruit company.”
“Sorry, we don’t carry those.”
“But they are widely advertised.”
“I’m sure you’d be happy with these. My own children love them.”
“They are not the same. Everybody eats Fruit nowadays. Ever watch movies? Even in the movies everybody eats them.”
“The taste of these is very good. And, as you can see, this company uses only natural flavorings.”
“But they are not seen on TV.”
“They are also much less expensive. Besides being delicious.”
“They are not what kids want now. Only Fruit is Fruit. Why, they’re even patented!”
Store owner turns around.
“And so is my ass. See that? A-S-S TM. Fully in trend and all my own.”
Gasp and exit.

– James Steerforth (© 2014)

Posted in Creative writing, Flash fiction, Fun, Life, Literature, Nonsense, Rant, Satire | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Iridescent Amazons on Mars

Iridescent Amazons on Mars (flash fiction by J. Steerforth, 2014)The problem with these new ones is that you can’t slay them. They send out such a glare that they’re upon you before you know where to aim your PAIL*. It’s happened to me (I’m reporting from the nether world). Listen to me: run when you see an iridescent blur!

– James Steerforth (© 2014)

*Pellet Ambush Ionizing Liquefier

Posted in Creative writing, Enigma, Flash fiction, Literature, Nonsense, Science fiction, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Rosa Andante

Johannes Beilharz, Rosa Andante (drawing, 2014)Rosa Andante, ink drawing by Johannes Beilharz (2014)

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At a Roman bar, Tuesday morning

Hair washed and combed today, new shirt and pants, first time since Anna left. But still that downcast hostile glare at the world, caffè corretto and not a word except for ciao grazie.

– James Steerforth (© 2014)

33 words for Trifecta about love gone wrong, avoiding love, sad, tears, wept, heart, pain.

Posted in Bland observations, Creative writing, Flash fiction, Life, Love, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments