The wishbone (a flash story)

I’m writing this to spare others a bad experience.

See, I ordered a wishbone with three branches through a special e-mail offer that sounded too good to pass up.

The problem is that that wishbone takes your thoughts as wishes.

So, when I got it out of the box and noticed the putrid smell, I thought, “Gee, I wish this thing smelled better!” And it started smelling like a rose, because I had kind of imagined a rose in thinking of improvement.

Next thing I thought, “Wow, now that I’ve got this wonderful wishbone, I wish somebody could see me with it.” And, since I’d somehow thought of my dead mother right then, there she was, still dead as a doornail, but right there in front of me, and not a pretty sight.

I was scared shitless, and that’s when I thought my third wish, which was to have her sped back to the realm of the dead.

That also happened right away, but I had used up all three branches, which left me with a useless bone. I’d blown 495 bucks in a matter of seconds.

Never ever again, now that I know I can’t trust my own thoughts.

– James Steerforth (copyright 2007)

I wrote this in a first-person style reminiscent of James M. Cain because it seemed appropriate to the subject matter. If he were alive (and read this), I think he would appreciate the e-mail/spam angle because he loved to introduce phenomena that were new or in vogue at the time in his novels (for example, frozen foods/tv dinners in “The Moth” in 1948).

About James Steerforth

I am an author of poetry and fiction, translator and painter who loves to have fun with borrowed feathers.
This entry was posted in Flash fiction, Fun, Ghosts, Life, Novelists, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The wishbone (a flash story)

  1. Pingback: Der Wunschknochen « Ultrakurzgeschichten

  2. suburbanlife says:

    Quite the funny variation on the “Alladin’s Lamp” theme, James!
    This is a good one, written in the language of today’s testimonials and man-in-the-street product reviews. I love your turn of phrase!

  3. maryt says:

    It’s good James…and funny!

  4. Thank you, suburbanlife and maryt, for your praise. I appreciate it an awful lot!

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