Up shit creek without a brain

“The brain is not working and we’re lost in the wilderness!” Susquehanna wailed.
“Oh my Gawd, then we’re as good as dead!” exclaimed her fair companion Peggy Sue.
“I’d so hoped the brain would tell us how to start a fire in these boondocks, now that the weather has turned bad so surprisingly and irresponsibly. Not a cloud in the sky this morning, and then this snowfall! I can’t believe it.”
“Aren’t you supposed to have it in your genes?”
“In my genes? Like what?”
“With your grandma a Pawnee or Shoshoni, or whatever you said it was, wouldn’t you be likely to know how to build a campfire?”
“And you, with your grandma a kraut, wouldn’t you be likely to conjure up some kraut dogs, preferably with chili?”
“Sorry, Sus, that was a politically incorrect remark about your grandma.”
“So was mine. I’m sorry, Pesu.”
They did not speak for a long time but simply sat on the increasingly noticeably cold ground with their heads in their hands and light flakes of snow dancing down on them.
Eventually, Susquehanna got up.
“Even without a brain, we can still walk,” she said.
“Yes, toss that brain! We can fend for ourselves. But which way shall we go?”
“Downriver. All rivers end in the sea. Everyone knows that.”
“Ok. But where’s the river?”
Just then there was a low squeak from their advanced tablet and GPS device.
“The brain! It’s back!” both girls exclaimed at the same time.
“Fear not,” the tablet said, “your brain is working for you and will assure your proper return to civilization.”
“Oh brain,” both chimed, “we love you! You deserve a kiss!”

– James Steerforth (© 2012)

277 words about brain for Trifecta.

About James Steerforth

I am an author of poetry and fiction, translator and painter who loves to have fun with borrowed feathers.
This entry was posted in Creative writing, Flash fiction, Fun, Life, Literature, Nonsense, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Up shit creek without a brain

  1. dunce two says:

    Speaking of brains, yours seems like it would be entertaining one to take a look around in. Thanks for the glimpse!

  2. jesterqueen says:

    Haha! Cute. Yes, we do rely on our GPS when we travel. Ours is named Samantha. She has a bad habit of getting us most of the way to somewhere and then getting the last road so badly garbled that we have to be lost anyway.

  3. jesterqueen says:

    PS – I think my comment will get to you. But it made me use my wordpress.com login. Here’s my proper blog address: http://jesterqueen.com

  4. Diane says:

    I’m still giggling. Ah, the GPS. Ours, named Hilda, spends much of her time yelling: “Recalculating, recalculating. My gotta-be-in-control husband always thinks he knows a better way. We spend our lives being lost, as you probably have guessed. Nice work, and thanks for a good laugh.

  5. lexy3587 says:

    I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have a gps to show me where I am, and where I need to go. Though i’ve never used one in the woods. “Turn left at next pine tree”? I like that ‘brain’ seems so sentient when it does wake up.

  6. Loved this – I couldn’t figure out for the longest time what the brain was. I love the way the women really seem completely helpless. Nicely done.

  7. Carrie says:

    Ha! My husband would be in the same boat as these ladies if his “brain” died 😉

  8. trifectawriting says:

    Thanks for linking up to Trifecta this week. If you haven’t already done it, you might be interested in clicking on the “Meet Your Fellow Trifectans” tab on our site and introducing yourself there. Hope to see you back on Monday for the new prompt.

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