I know it’s not really an excuse, as if I gave a damn anyhow, but one night when my dad had grounded me and both my parents the jerks were out I got fucking drunk while listening to music and snuck down to the car park around 3 or 4 in the morning with the baseball bat and smashed that old German guy’s car window on the driver’s side, fucking mad at him because he’d complained to my dad about me playing music too loud in the middle of the night. Made me fucking mad. These old fuddy-duddies with their boring lives and need to sleep. I’m a free spirit and I need my rock, and I mean as loud as I like, whenever I feel like it. Nobody knows who I am on the Internet, that’s why I’m publishing this.
– James Steerforth (© 2017)
Notes
By no means recommended for copy-catting!
It’s been said about me that I can creep into anyone and speak as if I were them. This is an exercise in precisely that.
What inspired this story – besides some similar real events to those related in it – was the 2016 Italian film Fiore that portrays a girl about the same age as the first person narrator above (i.e. about sixteen, seventeen) who earns some spending money holding up people in dark passages by putting a knife to their throat and demanding their cell phone, including the password. She ends up getting caught and going to prison. The interesting thing about the character is that there is no indication whatsoever that she regrets these robberies or feels that there’s anything wrong with them. It is likely that she’ll continue where she left off once she gets out of jail.
Steer Forth! 