Category Archives: Nonsense

Slighted again by fate

From the diary of a ducktail pincher Found the bags under my eyes enlarged when looking in the mirror while brushing teeth at around 7 a.m. Went back to bed after some hesitation and slept two more hours. The Italian … Continue reading

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Cold, depraved and powerful

“You know what, honey? I’m going to change the hero of my novel.” “Really?” “Instead of a cold, depraved and powerful man it’s going to be a cold, depraved and powerful woman.” “Why’s that?” “I read somewhere recently that novels … Continue reading

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How I became a junkie

I bought a ticket for the Nova Express, a ticket that later exploded, leaving me with neither ticket nor ride. A little later I had a naked lunch and was arrested for it. Much more junk happened to me, more … Continue reading

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Were you in …?

Aileen: Were you here in Hiroshima? Louyguy: Of course I was. Aileen: Were you also in Nanking? Louyguy: Yes, I was there too. Many other places as well, all with photogenic names. Aileen: That’s right. How silly of me. Louyguy: … Continue reading

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Why the geek slashed the carcass

Not being any kind of geek with a slasher past, this question is not easily answered. The police statement said there was no history of carcass possession, misappropriation or attempted purchase. Any connection with Jenny Cadaver, a distant cousin, could … Continue reading

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That trendy thing

(Why subliminal advertising works) Potential customer enters store. “I’d like ten Fruit candies, please.” Store owner rummages. “Here you go!” “These are not Fruit candies.” “Oh yes, they are: red cherry, dark cherry, frutti di bosco, lemon, lime, pineapple, etc. … Continue reading

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Iridescent Amazons on Mars

The problem with these new ones is that you can’t slay them. They send out such a glare that they’re upon you before you know where to aim your PAIL*. It’s happened to me (I’m reporting from the nether world). … Continue reading

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Fair Emily speaks her mind

Oh Emily, I’d love to be Down by the sea with you Having tea with you – John Cale, Emily “I must admit I am a little confused, Edward.” “Confused?” “Yes. In your previous correspondence you called me your earthy … Continue reading

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The distracted couple disagrees on literature

“Have you read Tlooth?” “Surely you mean tooth? – You don’t read it, you chew with it. Or it pains.” “Tlooth, by Harry Mathews! It’s a novel.” “Take an aspirin, honey, if it hurts.” – James Steerforth (© 2013) 33 … Continue reading

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Dear sensible reader,

have you come across poetry that is gratuitous and show-offy? That is camouflaging, experimental to a kind of insane degree? The difficulty of which really ignores the possibility of having a sensible reader? I have. Or have I? I’ve quite … Continue reading

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A matter of emphasis and perception

“It’s a yellow day,” Maud said. But everything inside and outside looked green (we live in a greenhouse). “Yes, today is a yellow day,” she repeated. “Because the sun is shining.” – James Steerforth (© 2013) Note Q: So what’s … Continue reading

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Going gently

Despite its drab, dusty appearance, the tendrils of this big plant in the middle of the forest pulsated invitingly, drawing me into its center. Where I am now, waiting to be digested. Thank God I had with me my Android … Continue reading

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From Rosa La Monte’s diary

Friday, Nov. 9, 2012 Danny called and we decided to meet for lunch at that most reliable of bistros, Le Diabolique. On the chalkboard they had Délice, Compromise, Naughtiness, Decision, Forward and Back. Danny ordered the Compromise, which pleased him … Continue reading

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Death had mercy

Well now death don’t have no mercy in this land – Jorma Kaukonen So there he came round, grey specter that he is, skull shaking and bones rattling, calling on one in our round, didn’t say who, but we sent … Continue reading

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Longing for the airline girl

So I just phoned the airline girl And said, Get me on flight number 505 – Mick Jagger/Keith Richards So she got me on this plane that went down in the sea in 1966, and have been sole survivor on … Continue reading

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The riddled species, or: noisily befuddled

The bipolar bear reeked audibly. It listened to heaven with a silver smirk, but exhaled kindly and did not make a left feeling. All it was was a great big blind sensationless enigma. – James Steerforth (© 2012) 33 words … Continue reading

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Up shit creek without a brain

“The brain is not working and we’re lost in the wilderness!” Susquehanna wailed. “Oh my Gawd, then we’re as good as dead!” exclaimed her fair companion Peggy Sue. “I’d so hoped the brain would tell us how to start a … Continue reading

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The significance of things and events

“What else did you see in your dream?” “A violin. Nicely flung, not one of those ugly duck-chested ones.” “Uhuh.” The patient crossed his feet on the couch. “Let me repeat: You saw an angel in a nearly sheer white … Continue reading

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A flocked tapestry

When we were young, we’d all flock to church. That was in our Wladiwostok days, when flocking was such fun. The whole flock would be gathered around the pastor and then drink. It was a like a huge cloud when … Continue reading

Posted in Bland observations, Creative writing, Fun, Life, Literature, Nonsense, Poetry, Writing | Tagged | 11 Comments

Pictures at an exhibition

Dutch or too much? Perhaps one of the pictures at the exhibition… My dear friend, We went to the exhibition, the big exhibition that is here in town, the big exhibition, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. You’re surely curious … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Bland observations, Creative writing, Fun, Life, Nonsense, Poetry, Writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments