Category Archives: Sweet dreams and nightmares

Brave New World

What, you don’t believe me? These two are real-life lovers! They met in the waiting room of the cosmetic surgeon who was to blow up their lips, were approached right there by a model scout specializing in surgically enhanced prototypes … Continue reading

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What to do

New customer on Monday, calls himself Brekekexx2008, books an appointment for yesterday at 4 p.m. It turns out I know the guy when he shows up. Shy, a few pimples in his face. I’ve seen him at school. Never paid … Continue reading

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Putanin’s 365th dream

Another weird dream. They are meaningless, of course, but they linger somehow. In the dream, I was asleep and woke up some time around 3 or 4 o’clock because I’d become aware of something going on outside. I got out … Continue reading

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Putanin’s 351st dream

Last night I dreamed that I woke up from the immense pain inflicted on me by a thousand silvery needles piercing my skin all at once, as in a concerted, sadistic acupuncture treatment. To make things worse, this was accompanied … Continue reading

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Condition survey

Bad. The Doors roar and jangle in the background. My stomach sours from coffee, caffeine builds up in the back of my head. Suzanne is gone, in the kitchen the dirty dishes in the sink are soaking up water. “Impending … Continue reading

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Short memoir of a minor character

My name is Eino Roskinen. Of course, this is not my real name. I was included under that name as a minor character in the novel Cass Timberlane, now considered a rather minor work of Sinclair Lewis but quite a … Continue reading

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Sleep, my love

That’s what I’m telling her to get her to relax, holding her hands in mine, but things are really far from OK, with that psychopath Hendrik bound to knock on the door any minute. What to do? Do I know … Continue reading

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Complaint of Vilemir Putanin, seasoned dictator and cleptocrat

(excepts from His diary) … I have sacrificed myself for my country to restore its former glory, and yet what do I get? Jokers gathering in the capital to protest, no doubt riled up by the criminal thugs I put … Continue reading

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A few seconds in the mind of Cinzia

Should definitely get rid of the bird shit on the roof. Black really shows it. Probably some pigeon. But I always park here, and usually there’s no bird shit. It’s under a roof after all. But no time now, have … Continue reading

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The unknown engineer

On the imaginary tracks of his life And no – this working life is not enough. Sets out to the factory in the morning. Work. Not very exciting. But one does what one must do. Wednesday lunch at a restaurant … Continue reading

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Why the Catholic church?

“Why on earth did you drop off a dried-up Christmas tree with some ornaments still in place on the front steps of a Catholic church in April of 1978?” “Well, in an odd way we thought they’d be blessed.” “Blessed?” … Continue reading

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Striptease

I swear to God I didn’t want to go. My mother told me that those things are sinful and play on the desires of the flesh. I really didn’t want to go. But the guys in my department said don’t … Continue reading

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You can be damn sure

it’s going to be a slow movie if the hero takes about ten minutes to enter the place, drag his feet across the floor turtle-like and sit down on the sofa sloth-like, eventually putting his mustachioed head in his hands. … Continue reading

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For hire

You see, my immense success is all due to that watch – it all started with that watch, which projects just the right image of wealth and manliness. And now I’m the owner of a nice red car, a monkey … Continue reading

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Happy ending

That’s what YOU call a happy ending: you plundered our joint bank account, maxed out our credit cards and ran off with the Austrian masseur who looks like Arnold reborn and is twenty-eight years younger than you. While I’m home … Continue reading

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A confession. Sort of.

I know it’s not really an excuse, as if I gave a damn anyhow, but one night when my dad had grounded me and both my parents the jerks were out I got fucking drunk while listening to music and … Continue reading

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I could definitely like that cutie

“Hey!” A short-haired blonde with freckles and a turned-up nose had come to a stop to let her Labrador or whatever that big black thing was take a dump at my entrance. “Yes?” “Better clean that up!” A mischievous nod … Continue reading

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The target

“Target is crossing street. Following.” “Love that swaying little ass of hers.” “Shut up, Jeremy.” “Wonder what she’s done that we’re going after her.” “Target keeps looking back, seems nervous.” “Reminds me of Diana. Lady Di.” “Don’t need your puerile … Continue reading

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From the memoirs of an addict

… so I found myself taking trains, hopping on buses, taking my car through streets where I knew I’d get stuck in jams to have that extra time I needed for smartphone activity that I could not justify otherwise. – … Continue reading

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The claims to fame contest

“So what’s your biggest claim to fame? I mean, meeting a famous person, something like that.” This seemed an odd question considering we’d just met, having cocktails on adjacent stools at a Bahamas beach bar, but I decided to play … Continue reading

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