Tag Archives: humor

A nice ending for a novel

Posted on February 7, 2020 by James Steerforth

And so they stood there hand in hand watching the waters of the river flow by until they got bored and left. – James Steerforth Author’s note Novelists usually attempt to wrap up the novel with an ending that packs … Continue reading →

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Daisy said

Posted on October 4, 2018 by James Steerforth

Where would I find glass slippers nowadays? – I’d make such a wonderful cinderella! – James Steerforth (© 2018)

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The WTF poem

Posted on March 6, 2018 by James Steerforth

“WTF – I wonder how that is pronounced…” “Not that easy to say, it being Proto-Srpko-Pannonian. Not at all what you would guess from the spelling. Probably sounded like hwiss, the final f generally being mute for all we know.” … Continue reading →

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I could definitely like that cutie

Posted on March 3, 2017 by James Steerforth

“Hey!” A short-haired blonde with freckles and a turned-up nose had come to a stop to let her Labrador or whatever that big black thing was take a dump at my entrance. “Yes?” “Better clean that up!” A mischievous nod … Continue reading →

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From the memoirs of an addict

Posted on September 11, 2016 by James Steerforth

… so I found myself taking trains, hopping on buses, taking my car through streets where I knew I’d get stuck in jams to have that extra time I needed for smartphone activity that I could not justify otherwise. – … Continue reading →

Posted in Bland observations, Creative writing, Enigma, Flash fiction, Fun, Life, Literature, Nonsense, Satire, Sweet dreams and nightmares, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The claims to fame contest

Posted on August 18, 2016 by James Steerforth

“So what’s your biggest claim to fame? I mean, meeting a famous person, something like that.” This seemed an odd question considering we’d just met, having cocktails on adjacent stools at a Bahamas beach bar, but I decided to play … Continue reading →

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Wuthering Quotes

Posted on March 11, 2016 by James Steerforth

The useful word wuther, which has gone out of use somewhat since its heyday in the 19th century, should be revived and not be restricted to heights* alone! To illustrate how it can be used, there are some literary quotes … Continue reading →

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Out harrowing

Posted on January 14, 2016 by James Steerforth

I’d been out harrowing since early morning and was happy to see Maisie walking up, carrying a basket. A break was most welcome. I parked the tractor at the edge of the field and climbed down. “Am I happy to … Continue reading →

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Scathing prediction

Posted on December 2, 2015 by James Steerforth

“You want to become a photographer of nudes? – With your makeshift equipment and lackadaisical attitude you’ll never get anywhere, I can promise you that.” Said my uncle Said to me when I was sixteen but already more than sure … Continue reading →

Posted in Bland observations, Creative writing, Enigma, Flash fiction, Life, Literature, Photography, Sweet dreams and nightmares, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments

Identity crisis

Posted on September 27, 2015 by James Steerforth

If anyone’s entitled to an identity crisis, it’s caterpillars. – James Steerforth

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Slighted again by fate

Posted on February 25, 2015 by James Steerforth

From the diary of a ducktail pincher Found the bags under my eyes enlarged when looking in the mirror while brushing teeth at around 7 a.m. Went back to bed after some hesitation and slept two more hours. The Italian … Continue reading →

Posted in Bland observations, Cinema, Creative writing, Film, Flash fiction, Fun, Life, Literature, Movies, Nonsense, Philosophy, Satire, Sweet dreams and nightmares, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

That trendy thing

Posted on May 12, 2014 by James Steerforth

(Why subliminal advertising works) Potential customer enters store. “I’d like ten Fruit candies, please.” Store owner rummages. “Here you go!” “These are not Fruit candies.” “Oh yes, they are: red cherry, dark cherry, frutti di bosco, lemon, lime, pineapple, etc. … Continue reading →

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A mill of particulars

Posted on November 5, 2013 by James Steerforth

From my diary Green, crumbly dog turds in the entrance to no. 42. Noticed during this morning’s walk and stuck in my mind for some reason. Puddles from last night’s rain. (Wrote “puggles” originally, which seems like something out of … Continue reading →

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A circle game

Posted on October 16, 2013 by James Steerforth

“You called, Mr. Albertini?” The boss turned around in his massive leather armchair. “I know it’s a daunting task, Fred.” “I’ve never been known to shirk any responsibility.” “I know your work is fastidious, Fred, but this time you’ll have … Continue reading →

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Joseph and Jeremy Saltash, Undertakers

Posted on September 14, 2013 by James Steerforth

“Another blunder on your long list, Jeremy …” He cringed, as usual. A pitiful picture – a sixty-something-year-old man with a look of utter despondence. And oh so incredibly incompetent. I sighed. “But, as you know, I will not let … Continue reading →

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Going gently

Posted on January 31, 2013 by James Steerforth

Despite its drab, dusty appearance, the tendrils of this big plant in the middle of the forest pulsated invitingly, drawing me into its center. Where I am now, waiting to be digested. Thank God I had with me my Android … Continue reading →

Posted in Bland observations, Creative writing, Flash fiction, Fun, Literature, Nature, Nonsense, Sweet dreams and nightmares, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

From Rosa La Monte’s diary

Posted on November 9, 2012 by James Steerforth

Friday, Nov. 9, 2012 Danny called and we decided to meet for lunch at that most reliable of bistros, Le Diabolique. On the chalkboard they had Délice, Compromise, Naughtiness, Decision, Forward and Back. Danny ordered the Compromise, which pleased him … Continue reading →

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Death had mercy

Posted on October 10, 2012 by James Steerforth

Well now death don’t have no mercy in this land – Jorma Kaukonen So there he came round, grey specter that he is, skull shaking and bones rattling, calling on one in our round, didn’t say who, but we sent … Continue reading →

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Up shit creek without a brain

Posted on April 3, 2012 by James Steerforth

“The brain is not working and we’re lost in the wilderness!” Susquehanna wailed. “Oh my Gawd, then we’re as good as dead!” exclaimed her fair companion Peggy Sue. “I’d so hoped the brain would tell us how to start a … Continue reading →

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Rhyming rote

Posted on November 20, 2011 by James Steerforth

Now if I had anything to quote I’d give it an honest vote. But on that very same note I’d also tote its antidote and jump from any boat for air with the slightest mote. – Felix Morgenstern (© 2011) … Continue reading →

Posted in Creative writing, Happy poem, Poetry, Writing | Tagged , | 2 Comments