Letter to Crazy Mama from her son Luke C. Whead

Hi Ma,

You’re making life difficult beyond endurance. This time it’s me and gone – no arbitration. I’m off, and that’s gonna be where my music’s playing.

Never even heard of some of those things you wanted.

Frankincense! Pure nonsense. Why’d you want to enrich the stale air of your room with that? Holy smoke and mackerel. Went to several churches for it, including Catholic and Greek Orthodox. They wouldn’t give me any.

Balder Dash I looked up in the yellow pages, but they were rude to me when I asked if they had the miniature trojan horse you wanted in emerald green dogwood.

Your demands are a bottomless pit, you know that?

As for Jimmy and Jody: go play with those slimy salamanders yourself. They’ve gone pugnacious on me enough times. I still wear the scars.

I ain’t gonna play your trivial pursuits no more.

Crazy Mama, you have a fantastic week but I ain’t coming back no more, I’ve got another place to stay now. Carry likes me, even though you hate her guts. But I don’t give a hoot.

Your son Luke

Note
Written upon invitation by maryt to participate in Raven’s Saturday Wordzzle Challenge.

The 10 words to be woven into a text were: arbitration, music, salamanders, frankinsence, trojan horse, balderdash, bottomless pit, fantastic, pugnacious, Trivial Pursuit.